• By Sam Parton
• In Blog
• Feb 3, 2013

Best 5 a side Football Team Names - Top 100

Choosing a team name for a 5-a-side football team is not necessarily an easy task. We have therefore set out to provide the definitive list of the best football team names we could find. We have tried to rank them in order of funniness, but please feel free to add any more suggestions in the comments below! We also realise this list is now well over 200 and apologise profusely if you feel mislead by the article title.

Top 100 Best 5-a-side Football Team Names

1. Borussia Teeth

2. Not in Mum's Forest or Notting yourmumsforest

3. Berocca Juniors

4. Bayer Neverlosen

5. Inter Malamb

6. Man Chest Hair United

7. AC AlittlesilhoutteofMilan

8. Dynamo Chicken Kiev

9. Steau Needarest

10. Real Sosobad

11. Hardly Athletic, Barely Athletic, Slightly Athletic , Notso Athletic, Lessthan Athletic

12. Sporting Abeergut

13. Breast Rummidge Albion, Breast Homage Albion

14. Real Ale Madrid,

15. Surreal Madrid

16. Dyslexia Untied

17. FC Twente Somethings

18. A3 Milan

19. Crystal Phallus

20. LSD Eindhoven

21. Pork Vale

22. Stroke Titty

23. Unathletico Madrid

24. Fiorentina Turner

25. Fourintina

26. Fatzio

27. Sporting hardons

28. Rapid Vienetta

29. Bumfica

30. Parmesan Belgrade

31. Deportivo lack of talent

32. Man Titty United

33. Ajax Treesdown

34. Sub-standard Liege

35. Royal Mail-drid

36. Fred West Ham

37. Bayer Leverarchfile

38. FC Copenbadly

39. Arselona

40. Barearselona

41. Outer Milan

42. The Boca Seniors

43. Creweventus

44. St Mirnoff

45. Tottenham Hotsperm

46. Toulouse or NotToulouse FC

47. Inter Masister

48. Inter Me-nan, Inter Me Gran

49. Athletic Dildao

50. Ivory Toast

51. Inter Bred

52. Partick Fistle

53. Real Sociopath

54. Real Madras

55. FC Dopenhagen

56. Sporting Bad Haircuts

57. Shakthar Senseless

58. Rapid Viagra

59. Celtegg

60. Sporting Lesbian

61. Real Social-Dads

62. Brian Munich

63. PSV Hangover

64. Dynamo Kebab

65. Getafe Mysister

66. Porto Cabin

67. Jewventus

68. Leave me'Arcelona

69. Paris Ganjaman

70. David Cameroon

71. Farcelona

72. Aston Vanilla

73. Crapston Villa

74. Manchester Obesity

75. Werder Beermen

76. Olympique Mayonnaise

77. Snorting Whizbon

78. AC Dead People

79. Exeter Gently

80. Tooting Young Boys

81. Bog Standard Liege

82. Is your motherwell?

83. Tram Near Rovers

84. Expected Toulouse

85. (Where your from)'s got talent e.g. Streatham's got talent

86. Pathetic Athletic

87. Spartak Tesco

88. Molesta City

89. HIV Eindhoven

90. Fenham-bache

91. Bayer own Bier

92. Bayern Large

93. They think it's Moldova

94. Is this the way to hammer Villa?

95. Texas Oldham

96. Oldman Asthmatic

97. Raoul Moatdrid

98. Crystal (Meth) Palace

99. Barry?s Shagged Yer Ma

100. Queens Park Strangers

101. Sheffield Thursday

102. Bolton Squanderers

103. Romasexuals

104. Ladzio

105. Athletico Bilboa Baggins

106. Paralympiacos

107. Blunderland

Not directly associated with professional teams:

108. Roddyjaegar Bombs

109. Balotellitubbies

110. Le Saux Solid Crew

111. Petr Cech yourself

112. 50 shades O'Shea

113. ABCDE FC

114. Slumdog Mignolet

115. Tea and Busquets

116. Pleased to Michu

117. Moves like Agger

118. Occasionally United

119. Mirror Signal Malouda

120. Phantom of the Chopra

121. This is Norway to Play Football

122. Wrong Direction/ No Direction

123. It's Spraining Men

124. Kiss My Pass

125. Jesmond Lynam

126. Jesmond Tutu

127. Range Rovers

128. Your Mum?s Athletic

129. Obi Wan ? Kenobi Nil

130. The Gerri Hatricks

131. Victorious Secret

132. Tequila Mocking Birds

133. Norfolk N? Chance

134. Inter Clunge, Inter Beaver

136. Whale Oil Beefed Hucked

137. Multiple Scorgasms

138. Mahat Macoat

139. Craving Cottaging

140. Excuse the Clichy

141. Six Offenders

142. Goal Goal Power Rangers

143. Jackson 5 a side

144. Smack my Pitchup

145. Murder on Zidane's Floor

146. Two girls one cup

147. Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtels

148. How I met your Mata

149. Cech's in the Post

150. A Stern Test of Carragher

151. Upson Downs

152. Shay Given Not Stirred

153. Made Emile of it

154. Dude, Where's Micah?

155. Raging Kaboul

156. Things are getting messi

157. Ji Sung Park the bus

158. Thomas Muller Corner

159. The Tortoise and De Gea

160. Diaby does Gallas

161. Lads on Toure

162. I can?t believe its not Butner

163. Crouching Woman Hidden Cucumber

164. Titus shambles

165. Baines on Toast

166. My little Kone

167. De Gea Bar

168. Gangs of Dwight York

169. Moves Like Agger

170. Load of Kaka

171. Tekkerslovakia

172. Portugeezers

173. Cesc and the City

174 Neville Wears Prada

175. Alice in Hangeland

176. We Arbeloe a lot of teams

177. Osasuna O Later

178. Liverfull

179. Benteke Fried Chicken

180. Inter Girls U21

181. Luis Suarez ate my hamster

182. Schindler's Assist

183. And the Winners Are

184. AFC Game, Set and Snatch

185. Always on Top

186. Call me Bébé

187. Absolutely shawless

188. Are you shaw?

189. Shaw to win

190. Mind over Mata

191. Two?s Kompany

192. Needa Bale Out

193. Beercelona

194. Fake Madrid

195. Barcabona

196. Agger Crewe Crewe Crewe

197. Bacarys not included

198. Turn your Maicon

199. Roast Lahm and Trimmings

200. I wanna take you to a Neymar

201. St Sweatienne 202. Reus Crispies

203. I ain't Owenu Nothing

204. We are Scheidt

205. Maradonna Kebabs

206. Old ?n? apoplectic

207. Tyranno SuarezRex

208. Law Abiding Sigurdssons  

 

What's the funniest football team name you've ever heard? Can you think of more to go on this list? Let others know by commenting below! By Sam Parton Sam is co-Founder of OpenPlay which makes it easier to find and Book UK sports facilities by providing an Online Sports Booking System.

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